Kiddie Pool

Sometimes I feel like someone threw me into a pool. I am screaming, thrashing, flailing, and sputtering only to hear them say, " Just stand up !" Only then do I realize that I am in the shallow end of the pool. The only real threat is the one I pose to myself. Remember those little plastic kiddie pools of your youth? While we are in the middle of a relentless cold freeze, I find myself dreaming of sitting in one with a book and an Iced Tea during the sweltering hot days of summer! It sounds quite ideal! For one, I can afford a $20. pool. Secondly, My book is less likely to get soaked in such a small amount of water. Third, I wouldn't have to worry about pond creatures. ( leeches, water snakes, eels, dragon flies, wasps, the slippery, mucky pond bottom.) Last but not least, I wouldn't have to put myself in an awkward position by revealing my bathing suit clad body around to the masses. I could be quite content to while my hours away in that small, plastic pool with my wetsuit on while never leaving my backyard!. In my heart of hearts I know that I need to reach for something bigger than myself. I am not saying that bigger is better. What I mean is that I know I shouldn't limit myself at the expense of missing out on all the wonderful, awe inspiring adventures out there in the big ocean of life. I need to shed off the old ways of thinking and my wetsuit of vulnerability. I need to let go of my inflatable swims of fear and lack of confidence. I have a feeling I am going to make a BIG splash!

Waiting

I wait for the last possible minute to get out of bed. I wait for my coffee to fully percolate. I wait for the bus. I am always waiting for something. Waiting for my husband to graduate college, for a house in the country, for my future children. Tonight I watched the movie, Facing The Giants. One thought that especially grabbed my attention was on the subject of waiting. On the surface waiting seems to be passive like when your standing in line for a skinny soy carob latte with extra whipped cream at the local coffee house. Sometimes, it is! The waiting that Iam talking about is active in preparation for something we are expecting to arrive in our lives. Maybe you are expecting your baby's arrival. You would be getting the nursery ready, shopping for the necessites, child proofing. Perhaps, you are dreaming of how you will redecorate your home when you get your tax return. Imagine for a moment that the day of arrival has come for your tax refund. You go out on a shopping spree only to come home and realize that you have no room for the things that you have been dreaming of for so long! We need to put our bodies in position to recieve. For me, that means less sitting and more moving. My goal is to have a warm inviting home that would bless my family and friends. A space that would nurture my husband and be a safe haven for the children I long to call my own. Pushing myself goes against every fiber in my being but I am reminded today that maybe just maybe God is waiting for me to be ready.